Liveblogging the VP debate
My mom is such a slut! I can’t beleive she is wearing this outfit to her first 
vice-presidential debate. She’s wearing this tight black suit and these bright red shoes. Those are the “fuck me pumps” that she promised my dad she wouldn’t wear. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I mean, I wasn’t born yesterday. I was going through some family albums and see that she’s been a slut for a long time. I found this photo of her in a crass AND unfunny (this is become a motif) t-shirt that said “I May Be Broke, But I’m Not Flat Busted.” Classy.
OK the debate has started. Again, nobody is watching me right now. I’m pretending to be asleep but I’m blogging away. My mom just walked onto the stage and asked Senator Biden “Hey, can I call ya Joe”? Is she kidding? Why did she do that?
I can’t beleive it but my mom actually brought in those flashcards. Her tutor kept telling her she couldn’t. I knew my mom was upset about not being able to use them but I didn’t think she’d bring them anyway. She wasn’t holding them in her hand when she came onto the stage. So she must have planted them before hand or she stuffed them in her bra. She keeps money there sometimes. Anyway, I totally can see her reading the cards. I think she’s cheating. I hope they throw her out. That would be awesome.
Oh wow. My mom just said
You know, I think a good barometer here, as we try to figure out has this been a good time or a bad time in America’s economy, is go to a kid’s soccer game on Saturday, and turn to any parent there on the sideline and ask them, “How are you feeling about the economy?”
I thought you were playing up the hockey mom schtick. But all of a sudden you’re a soccer mom? God lady. Get your stuff together.
Oh my god! Even with those flashcards, my mom can’t answer the questions. She just flat out (but not flatbusted) said she won’t answer the questions: “And I may not answer the questions the way that either the moderator or you want to hear, but I’m going to talk straight to the American people and let them know my track record also.”
Joe Biden is totally creaming her.
WTF is my mom insinuating here to Joe Biden: “I know education you are passionate about with your wife being a teacher for 30 years, and god bless her. Her reward is in heaven, right?” Is she threatening Jill Biden? I’m confused.
“Say it ain’t so, Joe.” What is the deal with these expressions? Where is she getting them from?
Wow. Joe Biden is saying some really touching stuff. I’m kind of tearing up. Poor guy: “Look, I understand what it’s like to be a single parent. When my wife and daughter died and my two sons were gravely injured, I understand what it’s like as a parent to wonder what it’s like if your kid’s going to make it.” Wow. he and I are both tearing up now.
OMG. Wait! So, Joe Biden talks about the tragic loss of his wife and daughter and here’s how my mom responds: “People aren’t looking for more of the same. They are looking for change. And John McCain has been the consummate maverick in the Senate over all these years.” I guess this tutor my mom has didn’t explain to her that even if you don’t care about the tragic events that transcend politics, you have to at least PRETEND you care. You CANNOT just switch topics. Wow. She’s so blatantly cold-hearted
Here’s some video
